One More Week

Today I had my weekly bloodwork and I was really very anxious to get the results. I have been doing a little too much research and reading on the internet and had gotten my self worried so I was just needing a little reassurance. Boy did I get it. My nurse, Kristen, was back from her honeymoon and she called me at lunch and told me she was so happy to come back to such good news and I said what news- she said your beautiful hormone levels! She said my HCG level had gone from 749 last Monday to 8,567 today and my Progesterone level was up to 50.45 from 38 last week. She said you are definately pregnant! She had told me on the day of my first blood test that based on my level of 97 she thought it was probably 1 healthy baby. I asked her today if she still thought that and she said she really couldn't say anymore based on how high my levels had gotten and how quickly they were rising. She said she would not be surprised either way. I always knew in my head that twins were a possibility but after that conversation it became a very real possibility. A week from today we will have our sonogram so by this time next week we will know if we are expecting one or two babies. I am so excited and anxious to see the sonogram. We are really excited that both of our mothers are going to join us for the sonogram.

Tonight Justin and I went for a walk and when we left the house there was a precious baby blue jay sitting on one of my geranium planters. I kept hoping that its mommy would come and get it while we were out walking but when we returned it was sitting at our front door. It broke my heart that it was seperated from its mother. Justin gave it a little dish of water and went to move it and then it started to fly although it didn't get very far. I felt a little better knowing that it was at least somewhat mobile. I just can't understand how mother birds just up and leave their babies like that. I guess one day I will be having to learn to let my babies go- first day of school, graduation, college, marriage- yikes I'm glad that is all several years away. I can already tell letting go is not going to come naturally for this mommy

Amazed

I am amazed at what is already taking place in the development of our baby(s). Wednesday marked the beginning of week 5. My update says that this week, "Your baby is about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. The big development this week: Your baby's brain is beginning to grow! It develops from the neural tube, a structure that will also spawn your baby's spinal cord, nerves, and backbone. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job. " It is just blows my mind that something the size of a sesame seed is already developing a brain. How could anyone question the existance of a God when they look at the intricate details of a human life. Conception, creation and growth are all miracles to me! And knowing that one or two of those miracles is growing inside of me thrills my heart more than I can express.

This week I have definately felt some of the early pregnancy symptoms including some serious sleepiness and occassional nausea if I have not eaten in a while and of course the many trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night have continued. I think Justin would testify that I have also been quite sensitive and instead of being my somewhat feisty self I am a little bit more weepy. I will say though I really do feel pretty good and each symptom is really just a reminder of the miracle happening inside me. Last night Justin read to the pearl(s) for the first time. He read a really sweet book I bought for him called, "You're My I Love You." I have also been doing lots of reading to find out what is happening with my and the pearl(s) right now. I have also been doing lots of reading on what I should and should not be doing right now and let me just say there is a lot of information out there. The nutrition information alone is pretty overwhelming. I decided to sign up for a free online pregnancy food journal to help keep up with the nutrients I am getting because there are a lot of them to keep up with. I have also been trying to walk in the evenings and I bought a couple of pregnacy exercise videos so I can try and stay in shape and hopefully make the labor a little easier. I am learning that our social calendar is going to have to be limited to weekends because during the week just being at work takes most of my energy so I typically come home and take a long nap before dinner. Justin has been great and has been cooking for me and taking really good care of me and the baby(s). We are really looking forward to August 4th and finding out how many blessings we have to look forward to meeting in March!

Our Pearl(s)

Today I had to go for more bloodwork just to check that my hormone levels are continuing to go in the right direction and boy were they. My HCG level, the pregnancy hormone, had gone from 97 last Thursday to 724 today. The nurse told me everything looked beautiful. It was so exciting and reassuring to hear her say that. She also told me they were going to go ahead and schedule my first sonogram for August 4th, two weeks from today. That is a few days earlier than we previously thought so we were really excited! We are quickly nearing the end of week 4 and the beginning of week 5 so I thought I would write a little bit about the development of the baby(s) that has been happening this past week. Right now our baby(s) is about the size of a letter "o" on this page. That tiny little pearl as my mother is referring to it is already beginning to develop layers of cells that are called germ layers which develop into the babies organs. Pretty amazing that all that is happening in something so tiny. As for me I have really just been sleepy in the afternoons and evenings, more hungry than normal & occassionally a little queasy. Other than that I really am feeling good!

The last few days we have just continued to celebrate with family and friends. Mom and I made our first trip to a baby store, Madeline's Room, and they were having a sale that day and we both ended up winning door prizes. We each bought a book for the baby(s). Mom picked one out that was shaped like a cupcake and called "I love you more than..." and I picked out a book from the same series called "You're My Little Love Bug." They both have a place to insert the babies photo and they light up and play music. They are really sweet. The last line of the one I bought says, "But most of all what you are is God's sweetest gift of love!" I just loved that because that is exactly how I feel about this baby(s). Saturday I broke a cardinal rule of pregnancy and I cut my hair off, well I cut off about 5 inches which was a lot to me. I had decided I was only going to cut it off if I wasn't pregnant but I just couldn't resist. It feels so much better in this hot weather. Saturday evening I got to go to my first baby shower as an expectant mommy and it was so much fun. Sunday we got to announce to our Sunday School class our news although most of them already knew it was still very exciting to share that huge answer to prayers. Sunday afternoon we went to lunch with my parent's life group and when we walked in they all started to cheer- it still amazes me how many people are just as excited as we are about this miracle. After lunch my mom and Shelly and I went to see Mamma Mia. It was a lot of fun to see all the costumes and the dancing and hear the Abba music! When I got home I read the two new books to our precious little pearl(s), something I have dreamed of doing for a long time. While I felt a little silly reading out loud with no one visible in the room, it was a really sweet moment with my pearl(s).

Still On Cloud Nine

Well it has been about 2 days now since we got our very exciting news. In the last 2 days we have laughed, screamed (the joyful kind), cried, hugged, and smiled from ear to ear. We have basically just relished in the wonderful news. We have received so many phone calls, emails, comments on the blog and had visitors stop by. It amazes me how many people are rejoicing in this miracle with us! We are so grateful for all of your friendships and your prayers and your kind words! It has been a truly amazing journey. Not always an easy one in fact quite often it has been incredibly painful and challenging but through it all I have seen two things strengthened- our faith in our loving God and our love for each other. There were moments when my faith was truly tested through this and there were moments I wasn't sure it would survive but it did because God is so faithful to never leave. Even in the times I was angry at Him and didn't want to talk to Him I still knew He was there. And once I turned back to Him and realized He was my only hope, He was always there to take me back in His arms and comfort me. His faithfulness has always amazed me. I have learned that marriage can also be hard at times. This last year though which has been a very difficult year has been the best year of our marriage. I tend to want to be a very independent person and I absolutely had to lean on Justin so many times. And he was always there for me and always strong for me even though I know he was hurting too. I fell more in love with him this year because of that. So looking back over this journey I can see what God was doing in our lives. He never does things to be mean or cruel, He is teaching us something. I also know that God wants to use us to help others we will cross paths with that are going through this same struggle. In fact a sweet friend sent this in an email, "My devotional today was 2Cor1:3-4 and it says that "God ...comforts us in all our affliction so that we maybe able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." I know that he will use the trials that you and Justin have been through these last few years to give hope to someone else that is beginning to walk in those shoes." So now we celebrate and we give praise and glory to our God because nothing is impossible with Him. I truly believe with all my heart that medicine did not create our perfect embryos but God did! Even the embryologist couldn't explain how last time we had such poor quality embryos and this time we had a perfect one and another one that was very good quality. A song kept coming to mind everytime I think of the this wonderful blessing from God. The lyrics are:
"It makes me want to shout, hallelujah, thank you Jesus, Lord your worthy of all the glory and all the honor and all the praise."

The result is . . .

POSITIVE!!!!! WE ARE PREGNANT, WE ARE PREGNANT, WE ARE PREGNANT! We have waited so long to say that and now I can't stop saying it. Praise God! We are so thankful for this blessing! He is so good to us! And it was definately worth the wait. Our due date is March 25th and we have a sonogram in 3 weeks and will know then if we have 1 or 2 little blessings to look forward to. Thank you all so much for your prayers! We have definately felt them. We will be planning a celebration party very soon! I have lots more I want to say but so excited I can't sit and write right now but will soon.

My Sweet Justin

Well tomorrow is our big day! We are both very excited and very hopeful. I still have a real peace about it all. Today when I came back to my office after lunch I walked in and sitting on my desk were the most beautiful flowers. I immediately recognized the handwriting on the envelope and knew they were from my loving husband! Not only were the flowers gorgeous but the card he had written for me was so sweet! God blessed me with a very compassionate, tender, patient and loving husband almost 6 years ago and I am so thankful for him! He has been my strength through this journey and he has been so thoughtful and loving the last couple of weeks! He waited on me hand and foot while I was on bed rest. He is an amazing man for whom I am ever so grateful! I just thought you all should know how wonderful he is and how lucky I am! I know when we do have children he will be an amazing father and I can't wait to see that!

3 More Days

We enjoyed the rest of our weekend with Justin's mom, Pat. They played golf yesterday and fortunately for everyone's sake they tied. They are quite competitive with each other. We went to Dason's little pool party for a little while yesterday afternoon. We met my parents for dinner at Szechuan's which is always so yummy! After that my parents and Keller came back to the house and we made cupcakes. While we were waiting on the cupcakes to bake we were sitting in the living room and Keller was trying to crawl all over me and mom told him to be careful around my tummy because there might be a baby in it. He said is there a baby in there? I said we don't know yet. I asked him if he wanted to talk to it in case there was so he leaned over to my tummy and started whispering, "Hi my name is Keller and I'm your cousin little baby." It was so sweet. He sat back and he looked at me and said I hope it is a boy. Mom said you wouldn't want a girl cousin and he said "Yuck!" So I guess we know how he feels about that.

Today we went to First Baptist for Baby Caroline's dedication. She looked so pretty in her little dress and she was so happy the whole time. It was really a sweet ceremony. After church we all went to the Frizzell's for lunch and some BabyCakes of course. We had a fun time with all of their family and other friends. Then I had to come home for a nap. I took a very long nap and really didn't even want to get up after that. I have been feeling really good still. I just have some occasional little aches in my lower abdomen. Thursday is only a few days away and I am so glad that the time so far has gone pretty fast.