Peace and Hope

Well all of my meds arrived today and that may sound rather uneventful to you but to me that was huge! Our last round of IVF it took me and the nurse spending 2-3 hours a day for about 2 weeks on the phone with the insurance company and the pharmacy to get the meds here the day before I needed them. It was rather eventful and quite stressful so now you understand why having them arrive today almost 2 weeks before I even need them was very exciting. And I didn't have to make any phone calls to my insurance company or the pharmacy. Last time my nurse, Kristen, and I felt like we were best friends because we talked to each other multiple times a day every single day. While I do love Kristen and can't say enough about how wonderful and compassionate she is I am glad we didn't have to go through all of that again and I know she is too. Wow that is one thing that I really can't say enough about- the staff at Dr. Dorsett's office is absolutely amazing! These nurses tell you to call them night or day and they mean it. They even give you their cell phone numbers. They hand wrote us a note telling us how excited they were that we had decided to come back and try another round of IVF. You just don't find healthcare like that very often. Today I did call Kristen to tell her my meds had all arrived and she said well you are off to a great start this round. I had not really realized it until she said it. If I think back to my state of mind last time around at this time I was a total basket case. I was so stressed out about dealing with the insurance company and the pharmacy. I really didn't know what I was about to go through so I was fearing the unknown. We had to worry about road conditions everytime we got ready to travel to Lubbock. Justin was teaching so he couldn't take off to go to all of my appointments with me. Things are a lot different this time- I am so much more relaxed and at peace. Last time I think I was more hopeful in a sort of naive way and this time I am definately more guarded and realistic. I do know that God is a God of miracles and He can give us a baby anytime He wants to by any means but after the grieving I did when our last IVF was not successful I feel I have to keep a somewhat realistic perspective and know that God's plan is not always the same as ours in fact in my experience I've found it is rarely the same as mine. I sure am good at coming up with great reasons for why His plan should be the same as mine though and I often tell him all those reasons. Isn't it funny that we think He, the God of this entire universe, needs our advice? That's a little arrogant of us isn't it? One of the versus that I have clung to over the last four years of this journey is Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future." I will continue to cling to that verse and put my hope in God and His plan for our family. If any of you wonder how you can best pray for us right now I would say pray for continued peace, rest & hope.