My Isaac

This morning I was working on catching up on my bible study, "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter. It has been such a great study but this mornings studies were particularly powerful to me. In fact the last day's lesson brought me to tears. As you can tell by the title this is a study on idols and false or functional gods. Through the study various false gods in my life have been brought to the surface but there was one that kept coming up and I kept trying to ignore and dismiss. I think this passage from A.W. Tozer's, "The Pursuit of God" which Kelly quotes in her book says it best.

"Abraham was old when Isaac was born, old enough to have been his grandfather, and the child became at once the delight and idol of his heart. From the moment he first stooped to take the tiny form awkwardly in his arms, he was an eager love slave of his son. God went out of His way to comment on the strength of this affection. And it is not hard to understand. The baby represented everything sacred to his father's heart: the promises of God, the covenants, the hopes of the years and the long messianic dream. As he watched him grow from babyhood to young manhood, the heart of the old man was knit closer and closer with the life of his son, till at last the relationship bordered upon the perilous. It was then that God stepped in to save both father and son from the consequences of an uncleansed love."

I didn't even get through the first sentence of that passage without weeping just as I'm doing again now. You see the biggest idol in my life is my precious baby girl and just as with Abraham so much of that is because she does represent something so sacred to my heart, the promises of God and the hopes of the years. Yet I've placed her before the very God that gave her to me. I've made her my number one priority even to the detrament of my walk with God and my marriage. As I continued on in the lesson, I read the story in Genesis 22 of Abraham, Isaac and the offering. I've read this story many times in my life but never had it been as powerful as today, just thinking of what that day and the days leading up to it must have been like for Abraham made me cry but he did not withhold his precious treasure from the Lord. As I sat and pondered the reasons I was so afraid of giving Ava up to the Lord things like fear of losing her, fear for her safety, fear of having to live without her, I realized this is her creator, the one who made her and has her best interest at heart. Why do I think I can protect her better than He can, why do I think I can provide for her better than He can and why do I think my dreams for her life are better than His? There is no better place she can be than in His arms. Just as the Lord protected Isaac He will protect Ava.

So this will be my prayer in my journey to remove the idols of my heart so that there can be room made for my God and all that He wants to do in me. Again it is written by A.W. Tozer.

"Father, I want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night in there. In Jesus' name, Amen."